It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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