I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
