If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
