i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
