I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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