I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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