I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
