3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
