I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
