So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
