I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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