I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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