New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
