That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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