I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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