we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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