Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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