if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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