I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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