Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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