i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
