im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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