why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
