You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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