Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
honey bunches of taint.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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