he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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