so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
