I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
