it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
