Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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