Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
