So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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