I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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