Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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