Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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