I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think i have herpe
just one?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
