And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had to cum in my sink.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
