Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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