just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
