Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
