I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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