Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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