mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
