Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I cut my penus on the lid.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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