I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
