You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i dont even know how to be here
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
