apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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