I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
