My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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