I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
